Note: Hey hey there! So, I get this question a lot. Like a LOT a lot. Biggest question of my life. I hope this helps everyone sort of figure out what's going on in my brain, and how it translates into my artwork. It's kind of a personal topic, but at the same time, not really. I guess it's more like something that COULD be taken way deeper than it actually is, LOL. Well, here we go! Thank you all for taking the time to read this! .....................................................................
Part 1: What is Kiyo?
Kiyo is my Naruto oc. She's a character I created to fit into the Naruto world. She's a Konohagakure ninja, usually very small in stature, varying between petite and curvy, but usually pretty thin. She usually has long hair, and is usually pretty pale. She usually has a scar somewhere on her body, and wears feminine clothing. She comes from a wealthy family, has some slight rebellious princess syndrome, wanting more than what life has given her, although what she desires is never really anything material. Mostly just meaningful relationships. She's hard to satisfy since she doesn't even really know what she's truly after in life.
Now, I hope you realized that for most of that paragraph, I chose to use the term "usually" many times in those statements. This is on purpose, due to the fact that Kiyo's appearance, clan, name, and backstory have changed many many times over the years since I first created her in the 4th grade. Kiyo has been everywhere, from a "Mary sue" white haired adopted Inuzuka who dated Neji, all the way to a blue haired child of Konan and Nagato who secretly ran away from Deidara. She's been a mean brunette Nara or Hyuuga clan member who paired with Gaara, and an annoying energetic girl who hailed from the Yamanaka that dated Suigetsu. She's seen things. Been things. Many more things than I have just described.
Kiyo has a well deserved reputation among the community as being amorphous. It gets my followers angry. I understand why, as most people would just wish I'd find a story I enjoyed for her, an appearance, and would just STICK to it and be happy. Now, when it comes to this, it's a bit difficult, but I will do my best to explain why further on in this passage.
........................................................................
Part 2: The Background Behind The Girl?
Kiyo has been a part of me ever since I was a young girl. In the fourth grade I had discovered Naruto due to one of my best friends at the time, and we would play games pretending that we were ninjas in Naruto world, and went by different names and basically lives. This was me acting out and playing as an OC before even knowing what an OC was. When I discovered youtube videos of people editing screenshots of the Naruto anime on Microsoft Paint and Paint.net, I decided I wanted to give it a go, and draw out my own Naruto character for once and see what I could create.
Instantly, I was hooked. I spent hours a day just editing photos for quite a few years. I uploaded a few of those images on Photobucket, since that's where i thought the 'cool popular artists' were uploading theirs, and I knew screenshot edits weren't allowed on Deviantart. Around this time, I really looked up to users like Spiritofwater, Black-Pantheress, and Shizuebluepower. I thought to myself that my art would never be good enough for me to get popular, but honestly that didn't stop me from trying. I kept at it, my designs changing over and over again with every new idea that popped into my brain. I was a little messy, but I told myself that I just had to find the one and I would be set.
I began my own Youtube channel, in order to show everyone what I was doing, since I thought other people's speedpaints were cool and I wanted to make my own. I drew out my ocs, and never really got popular, but I was excited to even get a few hundred views. I was excited that I was able to share my work with the world, and that people even wanted to see it at all. One day, I was experimenting with a livestream, and that's where I encountered some people that really changed the game for me when it came to interacting with the Naruto OC community. They asked me if I had an instagram account for my OC, which I did, and I was invited to join a Kik group with a bunch of other people that had Naruto OCs. Honestly, to me, this was mind blowing at the time. I didn't really speak to like more than 2 or 3 people in the community before this, and mostly just did open collabs that I found on Photobucket and stuff if I wanted to involve other people's characters. In this Kik group, I met a lot of people that I will probably remember for the rest of my life. They taught me a little about networking myself in the community, really getting myself out there, told me terms that were frequently used, and we all gave each other art tips. It was honestly amazing how my shy self went from like 14 followers and like 3 photos on Instagram to like, really interacting and getting recognition and hundreds of likes on my edits. I was happy that I was being noticed, and a lot of people mentioned that they did recognize me from youtube and stuff, but just didn't think that I had any other form of social media. (Little did they know that I was an AVID Neopets Naruto OC roleplayer when I was younger LOL)
During this time, though, Kiyo was still changing. Her appearance. Her pairing. Her jutsu. Even recognition and a following couldn't seem to force me to sit tight and stay with a singular design. It was beginning to aggravate me, and that's when I first started getting a bit of backlash about it. People made comments about how they were frustrated with me, and that I should just choose something already. I understood and knew where they were coming from, but I just couldn't bring myself to do it, and at that time I didn't really even know as to why. I continued on, still without knowing what was happening or where I was going as an artist.
I started to think about it to myself, and actually kind of came up with a theory as to what makes my indecisiveness ruin Kiyo's presence as a sole being LOL. It took me many years, but it was interesting to look back and think to myself "yeah, this kind of makes sense."
.....................................................................
Part 3: Why Does Kiyo Constantly Change?
The part you've been waiting for! There are actually 2 parts to this theory, and they both make sense, but I'm not exactly sure if they make sense with each other in tandem. But we will see LOL.
Theory: I Am Never Satisfied.
The explanation behind this one is that I honestly really just want to present Kiyo in the best light that I can, and as I evolve as an artist, some things about her just don't appeal to me anymore. I want her to literally be the best that I can present her, and it's honestly pretty hard and tiring. A lot of times I invent a look for her, and then I just stare at it for a while, and then I'm like "why would I ever choose this, when I could LITERALLY do anything else?"
This method of thinking also moves itself over to her story and background, usually altering who I choose to pair her with. I think about how my designs are all subpar, and everyone else is easily able to make these iconic and beautiful designs and have them for years, and yet, I get stuck thinking about Kiyo and how ugly she is and how basic she is and how I'm going to be stuck drawing that same exact design for years to come and I just really don't ever want to limit myself like that. It's really bothersome. My moods change easily, my ideals for her aesthetic change easily, and my art changes with my mood to be honest. I use Kiyo as an outlet of expression.
The reason as to why I don't just make a bunch of Kiyos is because Kiyo is sort of my personal lense into the Naruto world. If anything, she's my self insert that never looks anything like me LOL. I'd never want to make her look like me because I want to be out there and original and creative with my designs. I want her to be her own person, but at the same time I want to have control over who she is and have the ability to see the world through her eyes. I often have so many ideas and stories and stuff hidden in my brain, but it's almost impossible for me to move that to paper, or, well, to screen.
At the same time as me wanting to create Kiyo for my own personal enjoyment, I also want other people to like her. I want her to be popular and well known, if I'm being 100% absolutely honest. I know for a fact it could never happen because of the way that I treat and neglect her as a character, but it's just honestly the secondary goal that I work towards while I redesign her. I think about what other people would say about her, if they would like her, if she's "Mary Sue" or not, if she's weak, if she's overpowered, if her designs are cliche, etc. It's a lot to process and when I focus too much (or at all) on other people's opinions of her, I don't love Kiyo 100 percent like I should. It's irritating.
................................................................................
Part 4: What Is The Future Of Kiyo?
Well, we are nearing the end of this textual journey, and I want to preemptively give a thank-you to all that have gotten this far and actually want to know about my thought processes, whether they're valid or not. As for the future of Kiyo, she's probably going to change again. It's inevitable. Honestly, like, there's no other way for me to put it. I honestly am scared that I do not have the art technique that I desire to accurately display Kiyo as a character sometimes, and it's kind of frustrating to me. But at the same time, it also pushes me to work harder so that I WILL have that skill eventually and will be able to show off Kiyo how I 100% envision her. I'm going to try not to think about if Kiyo is a "Mary Sue" or not in the future. Honestly, I'm going to try not to give a darn about what ANYONE besides ME thinks of Kiyo going forward. Because, at the end of the day, she is my character and my character alone, and she deserves that sort of attention and love from me. Like, honestly, if I wanted to pair Kiyo with like half of the Akatsuki or something I would be able to do it. Nobody would be able to stop me. They'd all hate my character immediately, but like, who is there to stop me besides myself? My followers? No?? My friends? No???? Nobody has to like her or understand her except me. I can show as much or as little of her as I would like, and there's honestly nothing anybody can do about it. To me, this is exciting and liberating, but also a little scary :^) It makes me happy. I hope you all get to follow along on the journey of myself as an artist and character creator, through the eyes of Kiyo and her life as a Shinobi. See you all there~ :^)